Am I crazy?

As I've written before, I've been very low key for the past few years about preparing for peak oil.  There are a number of reasons for this, including

- I work full time now.  From 2005-2008, I was working part time, and had a much easier time doing other things, even though I had less money.  I bought a wood stove, raised chickens and a rabbit, had a garden, read tons on the internet, went to conferences, etc.

- Even though it really looked like the crash was here, in Sept 2008, and even though I got laid off in Nov 2008, life seemed to keep going along.  I got unemployment, I was able to find a new job, the banking system stayed solvent.  All those things that I had read about didn't happen, at least not yet.  I didn't starve or lose my house, the truckers didn't strike and the grocery stores shelves didn't empty.  So it was easy to slide back into just going along day by day, and not worrying about the future.  So much easier than daily panic.

- When considering preparing for Peak Oil, the problems become apparent.  Stay or leave?  I don't have enough land for what I want, so I should leave, but I cannot because of family obligations, and I don't have the money to buy another place.  If I'm going to leave, then why bother doing solar panels, or a wood kitchen cook stove, or a hand pump water well or a compost toilet.  All of these will detract from selling the house, when I go to sell it when I can leave.  But what if the crash happens before I can leave?  Impossible questions like this make me feel like a deer staring at the headlights, unable to move, bracing for the impact.  So much easier to just not think about it.  They are questions I don't have answers to.

- In addition to working full time, I also have been part of starting a local food coop.  This is a volunteer effort that consumes much of my time, and even more of my brain cycles worrying about all the things I should be doing that I don't get to.  It is something I can do to prepare for what is coming, and doing it feels like I'm doing something.  But focusing on it has made me less prepared than I was before the food coop started.

- and finally, the thing most on my mind at the moment....One of the things I had intended to do, but haven't yet, is cash out my 401K.  I didn't for a while because while I was still married, that tax/penalty would have been higher.  And I was waiting for the oil prices to go back up (I knew they would) to regain what little I had lost (most of it was in cash, only a little in energy funds).  Now the divorce is final, but the oil price is going up.  Should I continue to wait?  While the money is in the 401K, its slightly hidden from the FAFSA application for college aid.  Once I cash it out and pay the penalties, it will be right there for FAFSA to give us  much worse financial aid package, because the funds are RIGHT there.  And most important, when I go to cash it out, I know I'm going to have to argue and explain with Fidelity that yes, this is what I really want to do, I know I have to pay a penalty, but I don't trust the financial system to still be around when I turn 55 (7 years, 2017)  or 62 (14 years, 2024) and the tax/penalty will be less.  They'll say I'm crazy (I've already talked about it a couple times, and the resistance has so far overwhelmed me).

I know there are many people out there in the Peak Oil community who have done this, and moved away from where they were to somewhere they felt safer to ride out the coming storm.   These people seem to me to be the confident ones.  They are sure of what they believe and what they need to do.  They don't care what other people think.   And that, I think, is the crux of it.  What I have done so far may seem a little eccentric, but people have wood stoves, and chickens.  No big deal. Even leaving my 401K with Fidelity in the cash funds was a little out of the box - they kept trying to get me to re-invest.  But it saved me through the crash in 2008, and I didn't lose half like so many other people did, including my own family.  Withdrawing my 401K from Fidelity feels like I'm crossing a line, declaring for myself and others, even if they don't know, that I truly am crazy.  I really do believe doing what everyone else is doing and leaving my money in the 401K is the wrong thing to do.  I'm stepping out against the tide, or stepping out of the box. Jumping over to the other moving sidewalk, over to be with the survivalists and all.  True, I see it as protecting myself, moving towards a more sustainable future.  But it feels like a line I have so far been unwilling to cross.